When I was in my late teens, I remember feeling sad for my friends who were in their mid to late twenties and still waiting for Mr. Right to come around. These were really spirited, strong and attractive women. Why wouldn’t guys be flocking? I myself just always assumed that I’d be married by the time I was 25. I didn’t have a reason for this assumption and neither did I reflect much over the possibility of not being married by then.
But now I’m on the other side of 25 and as it happens, I’m still waiting.
You know you’re on your way to becoming a spinster with three cats when your friends, work colleagues and students try to pair you off with three different men in the span of a week. Last Friday at our teachers’ party, I noticed a guy watching me pretty intently. I didn’t think much of it until one of my colleagues drew me aside and pointed it out to me. Apparently he’s a very nice, but very shy, math and chemistry teacher from the school’s science program. She’s now encouraging me to ”bump into” him sometime, because he’s obviously not going to make the first move. Yeah....no.
Yesterday my students went a little gaga over the ”special guest” I brought to class: a guy from Canada who’s here in Lidköping for three months playing hockey with the local team. ”You guys looked so cute up there together. You should hook up. We’re rooting for you.” Aww.
And today I got a call from my friend Maria who, totally excited, said she had found the ”man of my life”. Apparently she had asked a pastor friend of hers who lives in a neighboring town if he knew of any eligible young men in search of a life partner, since she has a friend who is also in need of one. And as luck would have it, he did have someone in mind. It turns out that Maria saw him in church a couple of weeks back and her initial impression of him was that he seemed like a good, stable, in-love-with-Jesus kind of guy. As she’s telling me this on the phone, I’m thinking to myself, ”Hmm, I wonder if she’s going to tell me that she’s inviting both of us over to her place for a 'coincidental' meeting.” But instead she proceeds to ask me if I wouldn’t mind going out on a blind date with him. WHAT?? My immediate response was no. Like, omg, awkward. But then I reverted to giving a noncommittal answer because I figured I'm at a point in my life where excuses to not go out on a blind date sound thin. I told her that if he makes the first move, I might consider it. But we’ll see. I’m not convinced.
So Boaz, if you’re out there, please holler back asap, because I’d really like to get out of going on blind dates with total strangers. And just in case you are unsure of whether or not you are the Boaz I’m looking for, I’m laying out my list of requirements here. Be warned that the standard is high. Like my dad wrote to me recently, I’m a pioneer, not a settler. So here’s the list of required awesomeness:
1. You must be crazy in love with Jesus. You need to love the church and you’ve got to be firmly rooted in the Word. Period. I am not compromising on this point. If you fit this description, then you may proceed to point number two:
2. I prefer that you be multilingual. French, Spanish, Swedish and Italian are all good options. English is a must. Still with me? Good. Move on to number three:
3. You need to be mobile, willing and able to live in a country (or countries) not your own. If this is you, move on to the next point:
4. You must love the following: a. travel, b. good food, c. good music. If we don’t share these interests, I really doubt that it would work between us. Sorry.
5. You need to have a job and a vision for you life. And when I say vision, I mean big vision. Why be mediocre when you can be awesome? You serve a big God, so get with His program.
6. I want you to want to be a team with me. Much like my parents are. They’ve worked and ministered together all of their married lives, and although they are polar opposites, they complement one another well (by the grace of God, I should add). They have each other's back, and that's the way it's got to be with us. If you’re still with me, move on to the last point:
7. You’ve gotta be hot. You can call me vain and superficial all you want, but let’s not kid ourselves into thinking that looks don’t matter. You can fulfill all the aforementioned criteria, but if I’m not attracted to you, it just isn’t going to work. But don’t panic. There are a lot of types that I consider handsome, so you may have a good chance.
If you’re still there and not searching for the nearest exit, let me know you exist. Then maybe I can finally stop listening to J Lo’s ”What is love?” and feeling like I ”totally identify.” Thanks.
