I've figured out why the world is the way it is.

You can stop wondering. I’ve figured out why the world is the way it is: The people who make decisions about policy and world order never left high school. I know this because of what happened today.

The elective course I’m currently in combines students from three programs – European Studies, Global Studies, and my program, International Administration and Global Governance (IAGG for short). Today our professor asked us to divide ourselves into study groups during the break. So that’s what we did – “we” being me and my fellow IAGGers. We’re the kind of people who like to leave the classroom and hang out in the hallway during our breaks, and while we were out there getting the job done, the GS and ES students stayed in the classroom and thought up another plan. 

Their idea was to have mixed groups of ES, GS and IAGG students so that we could all “benefit from each other’s various backgrounds,” and "couldn’t the 30 or so of us reach an agreement together?" Now, this was a perfectly swell suggestion, but for the IAGGers who had already formed two groups to the satisfaction of all involved, the new plan wasn’t so appealing. This resulted in our staying after class for 20 minutes arguing back and forth as to how to divvy up the groups. Some didn’t see why we should rearrange the groups that were already formed; others grew frustrated at the apparent unwillingness of IAGGers to work with people outside their program; some tried to corral the group toward a consensus, only to be undermined by others who weren’t having it; and on and on it went. I, being the good Swede, remained neutral throughout the negotiations, all the while feeling distinctly uncomfortable about how complicated and awkward we were making it. I could tell certain ones in the class were getting offended, and it wasn't the IAGGers.

In short, we ended up agreeing on a day and time for everyone to show up, but did we reach a decision regarding who would be in what group? Of course we didn’t. Because we’re all still in high school. In reality, what took place today was just a dress rehearsal for future summits on international policy and law that no one will agree upon. The one thing that will be agreed upon is the time and place of the next summit in which negotiations will continue and no agreements will be reached. 

Now, if one were to take a step back to surmise the situation, one could make an interesting observation: We see that Global Studies students – the future activists and NGO workers of the world – just wanted everyone to come together to share experiences and lend one another their different perspectives on the issues we are studying. Lyrics like “Come on people now/smile on your brother/everybody get together/let’s try to love one another right now” come to mind. We also see that the IAGG students – the pragmatists and future governing elite – felt perfectly satisfied to work with the people they already know and trust. They did what the professor had asked the class to do, they just did it out in the hall rather than in the classroom. Which, let’s face it, is how important political decisions are made – within closed groups in the corridors, not in the general assembly in great conference halls. 

So. Be at peace and anxious for nothing. The future activists and governing elites of the world do have plans for leading the masses into a prosperous 21^st century. The plans just happen to differ and the two groups just happen to not get along. There is absolutely nothing to worry about.

Empty Inside - a diagnosis

The title makes it sound like I’ve been diagnosed with existential anxiety, but after two days of prepping for a colonoscopy, I was, quite literally, empty inside. Preparations included a strictly liquid diet and strong laxatives – I’ll spare you the details. Needless to say, it was pretty unsexy. I spent two and a half days cursing the day I was born (not really) and trying not to burn too many calories (which was easily remedied by marathon-watching The Good Wife).

The actual colonoscopy procedure was undramatic. However, there is this thing with my body not responding well to strong pain killers or muscle relaxers that I’ve only come to realize since I started having trouble in October. And being half Italian, there of course needed to be drama at some point. Right before the procedure began, the nurse gave me a muscle relaxer, but instead of relaxing me it had the direct opposite effect. Halfway through the procedure, I noticed my hands growing stiff and curling in at the wrist. I couldn’t move them and I started hyperventilating. Once the doctor pulled the camera/tube thing out, the nurse moved me into a different room to calm me down. I remember my body turning completely rigid from the feet up, along with my arms, hands and mouth. I couldn’t talk normally and had no idea what was going on. I don’t think the nurse did either, because at this point she was pretty frenzied, trying to get me to calm down and breathe normally. Eventually I did calm down and she could straighten out my hands and things returned to normal.

It’s rare, but apparently some people react differently than expected to muscle relaxers and can even grow violent. The nurse had not seen my particular reaction before though. Not my finest moment to be sure, but it does make for a good story.   

Anyways, the verdict is that I have neither diverticulitis nor constipation issues as the previous two hospital visits had assessed. I have IBS (irritable bowel syndrome). This diagnosis does better at explaining the pain and symptoms I’ve experienced on several occasions since October (at times severe, at other times less so). There’s no cure for it and there’s no particular diet that will lessen the symptoms since the food triggers vary from person to person. It’s just something I’m going to have to live with and hope the pain won’t be too frequent.

I don’t really know what to take away from all this. I don’t know how or why I’ve developed IBS, but this is a thorn in my side I’m simply going to have to accept. I suppose that if the apostle Paul wasn’t exempt, I’m not either. God is still good to me. I just pray I won’t have to give up chocolate.